Advice solves one problem; a good question teaches people to solve the next ones. When a coaching approach pays off, when it does not, and three questions you can use tomorrow.
A colleague comes in with a problem and the manager knows how to solve it. The manager says so, the colleague leaves satisfied, and a week later comes back again. This is what an ordinary day looks like for many of the leaders I work with. Their diaries are full and they feel that nothing moves without them. They are often right, because that is how they have set things up themselves.
Advice or a question
Advice is quick and, in the moment, often correct. But it has a side effect: responsibility for the solution stays with the person giving the advice. People learn to come with a task rather than a proposal.
A question works differently. When a manager asks what the colleague has already tried and what they would do, it makes them think. The first answer may not be a good one, but it is theirs. And a solution that people come up with themselves is also more likely to be seen through to the end. A coaching approach does not mean that the manager stops having an opinion. It means they do not voice it first.
When it helps and when it does not
A coaching approach pays off with people who have the knowledge and experience they need but do not yet trust themselves or are not used to making decisions on their own. It also helps with problems that have no single right answer, such as relationships within the team, setting priorities or career decisions.
On the other hand, it will not help a newcomer who is still learning the basics. They need clear guidance and a demonstration, not questions they do not yet know how to answer. Nor is it suitable in a crisis, when a decision has to be made within minutes. And it does not work if it is merely a technique: when a manager asks but is not genuinely interested in the answer, people notice.
Situational leadership puts it simply: the style of leadership should depend on where a particular person stands with a particular task.
Three questions for tomorrow
If you would like to try a coaching approach, you do not need to complete a training course. It is enough that next time, before you start giving advice, you ask one of these questions:
- What exactly do you want to solve? It often turns out that the problem lies somewhere other than it first seemed.
- What have you already tried, and what else comes to mind? You make it clear that you expect your colleague to come up with their own proposal.
- What will you do as a first step, and by when? The conversation then ends with a concrete commitment, not just a good feeling.
At first it will take longer than giving advice. Within a few weeks, however, you will find that people come to you with ready-made proposals and you have more time for the work that nobody else can do for you.